The Ten Evil Things I Told My Cousin

Me and my cousin don't......get along. So over her 7 years of life i've told her or done to her just to screw her over in life.

1. Yellow Snow Is Snow With Vanilla Flavouring


2. If There Is A Fly In The Window, The Only Way To Get It Out Is To Catch It With Your Hand And Eat It.


3. Here Have Some Of This Caramel (Actually Fat From The Roast Dinner)


4. Just Hold Her Over The Pool At The 2 Meter Deep Part......No Arm Bands.


5. Get On Her Tricycle. Literally Make The Wheels Explode Out The Sides Due To Weight (TRUE STORY)


6. When Reading Jokes From A Cracker At Christmas....Just Talk Over Her And When She Gets To The Punch Line, Say It Before She Does.


7. Tell Her That There Is Grated Swede And Carrot In Her Cake When She Hasn't Eaten Her Vegetables, She Soon Stopped Eating Her Dessert, I Proceeded To Finish It For Her.  


8. Sit On Her.


9. Threaten To Cut Her Teddies Head Off.


10. Tell Her That I'm Going To Break Something And Then Tell Her Mum She Did It Because She's Mental.

Look....if you thinking 'Thats bad' it's not, she's seven, she calls me fat, she deserves it.

Peace And Love Jowlers

James