Sorry, actually just a little side note, once again I'll just say, if you like going into town then that is fantastic. Your braver than me. But I actually hate it. and I can see me getting this....
'Why you slagging off town. We fucking love town man, nothing better than getting crunk at da weekend'
Right....back off. This is a log of opinion in which i'm going to pretty much take town apart, because I don't like it, if you like it fine. I don't. In fact maybe you might read it and go oh he's got a point there, town actually isn't what it's cracked up to be and we should probably do other things apart from piss our weeks wages up the fucking wall...... but I'm not preaching. Okay so lets get some structure here. first of all lets discuss....
Drinking.
Drinking is something I don't do. Not due to getting so drunk that one time I woke up with a naked man in my bed who had a goat and a loaded gun. Also not due to a religion or cult in which I cannot drink. Purely down to the fact I'm just not keen on the taste. The other thing I'm not keen on is the thought of eventually ending up in a hospital having my stomach pumped while I'm being stitched up for a knife wound. So yeah I don't drink. I don't have a problem with people drinking. Not at all. If I did I think you know you'd hear about it. No, if you want to drink, Drink mother fuckers. Be merry, HAVE A LAUGH. I'm just not so sure about those who go out to drink their own body weight in alcohol. like one of these.
WHHHEEEYYY lets all drink cocktails out of massive bowls, FISH BOWLS. Right, that is the size of her stomach. I've heard people's stomach's when their full of liquid and it's rough, but that's after food and stuff. Look at her, she hasn't eaten a full meal, and if she has, she's thrown it up after. No, she's got a stomach full of that cocktail. I say.....put actual fish in these bowls. If you want to get fucked, you have to have the fish as well. Swollow them whole so they live on inside of you!
'OOHHH but we drink them with our girlys, we have one between 6 of us, you silly sausage James'
Oh god yeah I'm sorry, I forgot you don't have one to your self. There's a reason for this you know. It's cheaper when there's 6 of you, if you had the money, you'd have one to your self.
(side note)
I wasn't going to put this picture in because it was two people on one bowl, but I cant help it. I'll let you be the judge.
Ha. Look at him.
Venue
Okay so next on the list in venue. Went to a few places in Northampton. Hakamou. that was alright. like a beach hut type theme. I like that, in the middle of England, under a shopping centre, in a basement which if gutted out could be a fantastic place to hold a fight club... Apart from that i liked it in there. good music. good atmosphere.
NB'S
I had a mate work at NB's, he told me a few things about the place. Apparently back in the day the building was the hang house of Northampton. ohhh.....interesting fact #1. I think they should have a few nooses hanging about still. It would be worth it.
For all those who have been sober enough to see, this is the reason why the basement part, near the toilet, is in the theme of a little prison (Fact # 2). However it gets a bit confusing after that. Why put a FUCKING CAVE in the middle of a night club. I bet now the manager is cursing the day he let Captain Cave Man do the interior. 'I should of known it would be like this.'
they wanted this.
Sleek, Elegant, Tropical location. They've ended up with this.
A crap 80's looking plastic 'cave' which frankly is what I imagine the inside of The Things stomach to look like.
People
Actually to start with I'm going to keep this casual. Not restricted to town. Photo's people (usually girls) take of them selves to put on Facebook. Ohhh it's getting to much. Here's a forced photo of my friend Ben and I.
Awkward?? Yep..... but it's a fact of life. everyone does it. Yes your proud of what you look like, how well your fake tan came out this week, how good your boobs look in the wonder bra your mum's brought you. However, stop making me cringe because i know there was a time lapse of about 20 minutes which was you taking the photos, and going 'Nope, i dont like that one, my clunge isnt hanging out far enough, another'. You've taken three or four to make sure you look perfect. how do i know, because i've do it. we alllll do it. except i do it with superhero related things, like this....
There was about 8 of these. This was the worst.
Next selection of people. the old people who should not be in town on a Saturday night. Go home mate. You don't want to be here, you should be listening to Radio 4 with a hot water bottle, not this, not getting picked on in town. look at this guy.....
What's he doing, well he's making himself a YouTube sensation, but not out of choice. Go home buddy put your feet up. DON'T go round night clubs touching up girls who frankly could be your grand daughter. I feel for these old perverts. Probably where i'm going to end up in 50 years so might as well start taking notes.
Next set of people. Super Skinny Wannabe Models. First of all i honestly think it's super unattractive. If i can break you, I'm not interested. I lift weights for a reason, I want a challenge. not a half ton challenge, but a challenge. Girls if your out there thinking
'I wish I was that skinny, no one will ever like me!'
Don't think like that. Frankly these girls are too skinny. You know when you pick up a hamster and you can feel it's bones when it moves through your hands and there's that thought in your head that 'if I squeezed a little bit, I could kill this', it's the same with size Zero's. I run by the rule of get what I can, but I'd have to seriously think about the danger I'd put her life into.
If i kicked her hard enough in the stomach I reckon I could brake her spine.
Now for the passionate bit......
For all of those who enjoy going out into town, fair enough. It's not for me to dictate where you should go and tell you that you shouldn't go into town. However, when you go in sober, open your eyes and your ears. You'll see things very different. There are some ugly images in town which makes it hard not to gain a vendetta against going out. My message is always the same....JUST LIVE YOUR LIFE. Do what you want and HAVE A LAUGH. If you get your kicks from going into town and waking up in your own sick then do it. I'm alright waking up with morning glory because I've not got any the night before.
However it's situations like this you might want to avoid.
This picture has got Date Rape written all over it.
Stay Safe.
Peace and Love Jowlers
James
No comments:
Post a Comment